PLEASE don't read unless you lost a lover cause you might think i'm either dramatic or exaggerating when this really happens sometimes to people.
Umm..I don't know why am i even writing this but maybe to let you know that you're not alone. So here we go. I've been thinking about what am i going to write about in this post and i had no clue until i thought of talking to you about a person. Someone you meet in your life that changes everything in it and all its aspects. Someone you..well i don't know how can i really say it so i'll just be writing down some sentences that might not mean anything but that's because the topic itself is difficult to describe. How can you describe someone that changed your life? You met and you loved so much that you were ready to give up on the whole world "literally" just to be with them. They might be full of negatives..or maybe even they don't have anything other than negatives but..so what? You don't care cause you don't know why but your heart just chose him. Not only your heart but everything in you is just as if it was created to be theirs and with them. You imagine your wedding, house , days, nights, talks, fights, honeymoon, kids, break ups and..everything your whole future with them. Do you get what i mean?? You met someone that changed your way of thinking, your attitude ,your behaviour,...etc. He even made you do things you never imagined yourself doing them or never could have done it without them being there. You might have even done things just with them and couldn't do it with anyone else but because he was so special. It was as if you're talking to yourself. He is everything to you and then..he leaves..you don't know why but he just does..and you become the widow/widower of a husband/wife you never had. But they were there and you just can't get it..how everything seemed to go to plan and then..it turns black! And then you go through a special phase of dying, as i call it. And it's divided into three steps:
1. You feel like your chest just applies so much pressure on your heart and lungs..you can't breathe and it's just..COLLAPSING!
2. Not just your soul that would be suffering but you find even your body aching. You might be sitting just fine and suddenly you get fever, headache, stomach ache, vomitting, and dizziness for some time then it's over.
3. EMPTINESS..just..emptiness..it's all gone..your plans, your future, your dreams, your imagination. You want basicaly nothing..you don't need friends, parents, grades cause everything just seems useless and you want just to sit there alone only with your memories.
You're dead.
Days pass and people think you forgot because they see you laughing even sometimes you think you do..but no it's still there. All of it! The happy talks, chats, calls and the dying part. It's never gone and you wonder when will it be over and really move on like 100%? But the good thing is that you never give up on trying to let go. You never give up on trying to forget because we all really need to create a new future for ourselves and try to move on. Consider it as trying to reward yourself for being you.
PS. Oh God please don't let anyone go through the dying phase one day. Amen.
